hey, soul sister.

roses are red,

violets are blue,

AVADA KEDAVRA,

i love you.

i love you.

mood: 

trust God.

Look back and thank God. 

Look forward and trust God.

Look around and serve God.

Look within and find God.

i found this amazing Christian book which has inspired me so much. it was totally amazing when you read it, it makes you feel God, makes you feel that He's there. it's just amazing. well, last night, i went for a basketball game with my church friends and it was amazing. i got a whole lot damn better. i was late because i went for my family dinner so i only played 2 games. it was an indoor court so it was rather small, but i shot at least 1 or 2 goals per game. not bad right? :D i'm really looking forward to the next game, since i got so much better. i think they're going to play during camp but even if they're not, i bet we're gonna have so much fun. i'm so excited. christmas is getting nearer and nearer and i'm even more excited for that! it's like the best time of the year! i think i'm involved in the play for the children christmas night thingy, playing myself. i didn't know what peter meant but he said i was gonna play me. so yeah. i'm starting work tomorrow so i'd better hit the sack now, so, nitey-nite, don't let the bed bugs bite ;)

mood:

you know what?

i found out a lot of things today. not actually a lot, but yeah, i found out something today. i checked my stats for my blog just now because i noticed that the last time i saw the counter thingy, it was 1603, i accidentally saw it again just now and it was like 1800. i was lilke 2 days and 200 views? nowayman. when did i get that popular? hahahaha :D i checked my stats and yesterday, my blog was viewed 96 times, then it was viewed 106 times, today, it was viewed 66 times. wow. seriously wow. oh!oh! and you know my post about how cool and handsome Daniel Padilla is? that post was viewed 494 times. my blog is like famous. but there's one thing i don't quite understand, since my blog was viewed so many times a day, my followers list never seems to add itself. well, maybe they just read for fun lah. or maybe someone just keep refreshing when they get to my blog. hahahahhahaaha LOL. oh well then.

i went back to my first few posts in this blog to read, it was really really REALLY old. i kindof forgot how i used to blog last time so yeah. i was colourful. hehehehe :P seriously, COLOURFUL. but ohwell, i'm not actually in the mood to be in a good mood right now. i'm really scared. yesterday, when i was asked if i want to go to church [ofcourse i do] i went and told my mom that i might be going to church later but i won't go if my homework is not done, well, she asnwered me, go so many times for what? since you won't be going anymore anyway. that feeling was like being stabbed from behind, not like i have felt the feeling of being stabbed. and this morning, i was suppose to follow my mom to see my aunt. well, i'm going out with my mom so, obviously, i'll think that she's gonna wake me up. so i didn't set an alarm. i woke up, she's not in her room, so i thought she went for a walk cause she usually brings ah miiu along when she goes out. then at 10:00am she came home and said that i didn't even wake up and she've done so many things already and i sekarang baru wake up. and she said, if it was some church activity, i would've set an alarm to wake myself and get ready. that seriously doesn't make sense. you are my mom. i thought you could have woke me up. going to church is different. i carpool. so of course i would get ready and wait for them. it's good enough for them to be okay to fetch me.

she just makes me so sad. it's like she don't care about me at all. well, of course i know she cares about me but it seems to me that she doesn't care if i'm happy. to me, it's like she doesn't want me to be happy at all. well, all i can do now is, pray and wait for God :) there's no point fighting with her anymore. she doesn't listen anyway. now, i shall think of what makes me feel happy. i'm going to ou tomorrow, isn't that happy? although i'm taking a cab to church :( but that's alright. i'm going to church, that's the point. but i can't help thinking that it would be my last few times to be at church, feeling satisfied. i can't actually imagine it or believe it. i'll miss those monkeys. but most of all, i miss spending time with those people who loves God too ;) my mom is starting the heart to heart fight thing again. we don't have to talk to each other, but we're fighting in the inside. eye contact, everything, it's like war at home. but the good thing is, i'm starting work on this coming Monday, so yes, i feel so lucky. get to spend more time with my church friends although we couldn't talk. i'll definitely miss the fun times i had in the house of God. so here's a little prayer,

Dear God, Father Almighty, i know you are listening,

although i'm actually just typing but i'm praying from inside my heart,

and i know you can hear me. Lord, i feel lost right now,

like i'm in a maze i'm not familiar to. i don't know what to do.

i definitely believe in you, God, and in your miracles.

your Histories in the Bible has never failed to amaze me,

how you heal, how you save, how you care but most of all,

how you love. all these years that i've lived, God has blessed me well.

you have put me in a good family, a good place.

i have never suffered or starved.

this little prayer, is not like the other ones i've prayed before,

this is to thank you my Lord,

thank you for giving me a life to live,

thank you for putting me here,

thank you for always being there for me,

thank you for taking my sin away,

thank you for your forgiveness,

thank you for letting me know you,

thank you for blessing me,

thank you for listening to my prayers,

thank you for your

love

you are my Lord and you will always be,

thank your listening to my prayer,

in Jesus' name i pray

amen.

mood: