oh yah, i just remembered that i wanna buy the thing that IKEA have to put laptop and they have a bag stuck on the back to balance or something. but whatever. just gotta get it. blogging with a laptop on the table makes no difference with blogging with a desktop.
okayh, so, yesterday, i went to fellowship [mah usual saturdays]. well, fellowship is a very very very lovable thing. i would do anything to not miss it. well, unless i have a thing so incredible that i would wanna go other than fellowship but i don't think theres any. when i go to fellowship, i just feel this warmth that i don't get.
so back to the topic. everysaturday, i would go to guitar class first and go straight to church cos the places are qquite near. actually, very near. you could get ther by foot. about 5 minutes. then fellowship usually ends at 10++ cos of the choir and stuff. and during fellowship, you gotta turn on silent mode on your phone.
so, i probably don't hear or feel her [mom] calling at all. and so, i don't know anything. and ofc i did not call her back. and you know what? she called church office, noone answered cos, duh, it was a saturday, night! and guess what? she called the pastor. wth weyh..
just now she told my dad the qhole same situation but one difference, she made me sound ruder than i actually was. and my dad said i'm useless and stuff. how discouraging. a friend, the friend, apple said it was really pro that i could survive in the family like this. actually its not hard at all. just remember that God is always by your side and your never alone :)
once my mom scold me, a time when i did not answer her back, she said something like, you wanna go, you go lah. then i ask her, go where? ans she's like leave! leave home! you don't like me so much leave lah! and i was like sudah be tahan and said kinda loudly (my voice is not soft) : i never said i wanna leave home. you were the one that said i wanna leave home. then that night, my mom told my dad that i wanna leave home. omg =='
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well, i went to some other blogs just now, and they type so much and i so lazy read. so i understand now. when i wanna blog, short short enough.. hahaha ;D
and yesterday, i went back to ssb for sports day...yay!! and i got sunburn! wanna see?
see my face?? SUNBURN!!
and today, when i was explaining why i was damn sad yesterday. i realized i was actually homesick. bestari is like home. everyone in there is like family. i'm seriously homesick. i kinda promised that i wouldn't cut my hair until i get back to ssb so if i still can't tell my parents that i wanna go back to ssb, i'll probably be the next rupanzel, waiting on top of some building.
and there, my dad just said i'm useless again. always playing with the computer, like every useless people in the world. come on! i'm only 16! what do you people expect? and my mom keep saying fellowship and hanging to much with my friends, the ssb ones, are pulling my grades down. she actually blames. hussh! i think she expect me to stay at home everyday, hanging out with a bunch of nerd that calls the book publisher to tell them their mistakes. == if that happened to me, i'm sure my mom would be persuading me to get some more normal friend.
i feel like crying now weyh. think of the way my parents think of me. my mom having extremely high expectations on me is influencing my dad. and those pressure are enough. if i get more presure, i'll be sad. cos i can't afford to take in anymore pressure so please lah, those people who are giving me extra pressure.
i gtg now. good night :)
smile, it's easy.
:) sm.
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