then at church, miin miin and yuan shuang keep on talking about miin miin's secret and blah blah blah. idk what they are talking about yet they want to discuss about it beside me. and everytime i ask what is it, they will create something up. well, who cares anyway. actually i care. hahahahaha. but it's non of my business, i shouldn't keep that in my mind. i just feel odd. like they know so many things that i don't. i just don't feel like i'm blending in at all. and my mandarin is not good. i need their translation most of the time and i feel like i'm so freaking troublesome, like a pain in the back. some knows so much about this event, that event, practice this, practice that, in charge of this, in charge of that, meeting this, meeting that and i'm just sitting there swinging my legs.
Sometimes, my mom brings quite a lot of problem to me. i have enough trouble on me already and my mom wants to put more on me. i don't want to be trouble. i want to be normal.
i don't know why i'm talking like this now. maybe i'm just tired. but i'm disappointed. i'm not attending fellowship anymore next year. that's a for sure. my mom remind me everytime she scolds me. and she scolds me pretty often. so there's not much hope for myself now. my mom is currently giving me the face for who knows what reason. and she complains about me to my dad everytime he comes home from work. i believe that one day, my dad's gonna explode and scold my mom. 'cause i can see that my dad is sick and tired of her complainings. but i don't think my mom sees it. she thinks that he's siding her. my dad's not siding anyone. he believes that i am old enough to make my own decisions and if i've tried my best, he's happy. and he have nothing against fellowship. he used to have. but now, i'm not sure. he just thinks that church has brainwashed me. now, he has no comment.
if i could make a wish and it would come true, i would wish that i can continue to attend fellowship next year.
mood:
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