death.

Rain poured like never before. Lightning struck right in my face. It rained as if it was never going to stop. Death felt so near. Just as I went telling my friends it was doom's day and the end of the world, I felt as if another voice was in my head talking to me. Once I heard what it said, I felt so bad about thinking what I thought. Not having faith in God, thinking stupid things. I was just scared, but that is not an excuse. I'm really sorry. I beg for forgiveness and I am sure God will forgive as He loves all of us so much. Thank you for being there talking to me and nudging me when I do something wrong without myself realizing. You're amazing :)

Today I went to my teacher's house for tuition. She adopted her daughter and I saw her for the first time today. She says that her daughter looks like her husband. I'm not sure about that as I have not seen her husband before. They don't look alike though. Her daughter is really cute and she's really smart, too! I suddenly had the urge to ask her and I did, is she going to tell her that she is adopted. My teacher said yes. I asked her when. She said just when she understands the adoption concept. She says that it will be easier to accept it if she's younger. If she tells her at our age now, I think she would go crazy and start cutting herself. I don't know, just guessing.

She breasts feeded her herself, with the help of some hormones injection. Even though she is not her real daughter, she treats and loves her like her own child, like God, in a way. She has been trying to get a baby for years but I think it didn't work so she decided to adopt. She wants a baby so badly that she can love someone else's child and some people wants to get rid of their baby so badly she can just abandon the child in the dumpster. If the child ever hear about where he/she was found, he would be so hurt, so not wanted. Sad child.

Right now, I am so tired and my eyes are all red like really really red. I still have to shower. I'm still in my uniform. Too much tuition in a day, will cancel the history tuition soon. Hopefully, my mom would let. (fingers crossed)

mood: