paint

remember those days when we go on the computer just to play with paint? well, those days are definitely over. it is really annoying to see people who are almost 30 scrolling up and down on their facebook timeline. come on, get a life, work. i'm referring to my cousin of course. even i'm not like that. he doesn't have a job, he have a baby on the way and you know what? he's proud of it. all he know is manjakan his mom and complain. he is currently snoring behind me now. well, if you have to see these kind of people everyday, who would not be pissed? i think everyone would. so now i think my house is not a very nice homey condition to live in. i'm getting angrier and angrier now. stop, stop. this is why i'm making a new room for myself. i am planning to lock myself in there whenever he comes. or maybe for the rest of my life. nahh, i need to go to school, gain more knowledge and experience and have a future.

i was googling about bone cracking. if you know me really well, you would know that i have bones that will never stop cracking. i go up the stairs, every step i take you can hear a crack. i wake up, my whole body can crack. i back bones, my shoulder, my fingers, my wrists, my neck, my knees, my toes, my ankles. last time, you could even hear cracks when i was just turning my hips. my mother thinks that i have a problem and maybe i need to see a bone specialist, i insisted that i don't have a problem, but out of curiosity just now, i googled it. i found something that explains a lot. i don't mean a lot of words but explain a lot of funny things about me, not that i have some sickness, i guess it's normal, it doesn't say that these are symptoms to some disease. well, i wanted to print screen it and put it here but i can't so i googled how. then i discovered that i have to past it in paint and save it. it was too blur so for get it

but you guys should go to the paint again. it is like very nice now, compared to what we had last time. we only had the bucket paint which paints the whole wall, the air brush and a normal brush. now their brush is like a real brush, it fades as if it ran out of paint. so i played along, here are some of my signature i drew.

the thick brush.

the classic pen.

the fine brush.

the air brush. the one that used to fail all my drawings and still the same.

Le Marker.

they even have crayon.

the kids nowadays are surrounded with technology, why would they even care about paint. paint used to be my favourite game. kids touching their iPads in the shopping centres and ipod etc. etc. no offence to the parents nowadays but i think thats called spoiling your kids, it's not counted as letting them experience at a young age and let them learn faster. i think it's just not good. too much harmful rays at a young age is not good at all. 

mood:  & 

seafood

smell of seafood stuck in my fingers, no matter how many times i wash it, it is still there, stubborn smell. if you want to see what seafood i've cooked, go to my twitter @soumun21 and look for a tweet that says i made this! most of it. i can't believe it [some emoji of sea creatures or you may see boxes] it's pretty good for a starter like me. that proves that some last minute concentration on the food network asia works. i'm pretty proud. i shall cook more often but eat less. this holiday has been giving me nothing but fats. i'm so fat now that i can't stop complaining. well, for some people who just lost a lot of weight, like what my dear Jaime would say, bangga ah.

much love :)

mood:  &  

life.

life is hard. the starting steps were the most enjoyable and the most fun. we didn't have to think. we didn't have to make tough decisions. we didn't have to worry. we didn't have to care. we just did whatever our hearts told us to. teenager life is weird. this level of our lives doesn't quite make sense. for the past few days, i have been having problems. moodiness and insomnia. i can't fall asleep until it's after 2am. i feel like i want to cry when i can't. so many things. frustrates.sometimes i don't understand why we have to go through this stage of life. well, people do say when we breakthrough the tough ones, the ones coming in the future would be much easier. i shall believe that it is true. 

everytime something happens, i'll tell myself, okay, i have to blog about this. no, it never happens, and now that i'm blogging because boredom is overtaking more than half of me already, i've to pour out to my blog. to be living as a pre high school graduate, there are many things to think about. college. car license. friend who would be leaving next year. making much more memories to remember before it's all over, before we all turn into butterflies, folios, parents, everything. right now, i'm thinking about my college. MCKL? or IACT? MCKL is not bad, good environment and i have friends there. IACT allows me to take foundation for event management. there will be training. i have a feeling i'll still take MCKL in the end. i can work or explore in some event management companies. A-levels allows me to change my mind. i wouldn't have time for a job. unless it is a job which is up to me. we'll see. i hope to see you in my future.

one last thing, saying sorry for many many times doesn't help. if you continue to make that mistake when you're conscious about it, sorry, apologize not excepted. saying things like you already know your mistakes, nahh, i won't take it in anymore. it's like slapping someone and apologizing and slapping them again and you are conscious. you can also see it as committing crime and asking God to forgive you and committing crime again and asking God to forgive you again. and here i remember something. i will forgive you everytime you apologize, if you make the mistake again, it is not my problem, it was your choice. i want to be more like God, well, i'm not even close. but He wants us to forgive and love all our neighbors and enemies. something like that. i can't remember clearly.

i'm sorry, so here are some pictures

mood: 

death.

Rain poured like never before. Lightning struck right in my face. It rained as if it was never going to stop. Death felt so near. Just as I went telling my friends it was doom's day and the end of the world, I felt as if another voice was in my head talking to me. Once I heard what it said, I felt so bad about thinking what I thought. Not having faith in God, thinking stupid things. I was just scared, but that is not an excuse. I'm really sorry. I beg for forgiveness and I am sure God will forgive as He loves all of us so much. Thank you for being there talking to me and nudging me when I do something wrong without myself realizing. You're amazing :)

Today I went to my teacher's house for tuition. She adopted her daughter and I saw her for the first time today. She says that her daughter looks like her husband. I'm not sure about that as I have not seen her husband before. They don't look alike though. Her daughter is really cute and she's really smart, too! I suddenly had the urge to ask her and I did, is she going to tell her that she is adopted. My teacher said yes. I asked her when. She said just when she understands the adoption concept. She says that it will be easier to accept it if she's younger. If she tells her at our age now, I think she would go crazy and start cutting herself. I don't know, just guessing.

She breasts feeded her herself, with the help of some hormones injection. Even though she is not her real daughter, she treats and loves her like her own child, like God, in a way. She has been trying to get a baby for years but I think it didn't work so she decided to adopt. She wants a baby so badly that she can love someone else's child and some people wants to get rid of their baby so badly she can just abandon the child in the dumpster. If the child ever hear about where he/she was found, he would be so hurt, so not wanted. Sad child.

Right now, I am so tired and my eyes are all red like really really red. I still have to shower. I'm still in my uniform. Too much tuition in a day, will cancel the history tuition soon. Hopefully, my mom would let. (fingers crossed)

mood:

daniel padilla ♥

until now, i still have no idea how to pronouce his name and i have probably given up because it's not like my mom would let me go all the way to phillipines just to see him. she says that country is dangerous. that may be true so i shall not take the risk. malaysia is totally safe, so daniel, you shall come here. you can stay as long as you want. there's a lot of earthquake nowadays so stay here. it's safe :) he is so so so so so good looking but i don't know if he has a girlfriend. probably kathryn i guess. she's extremely pretty. they look good together :)

this is his latest photoshoot photos, it's okay, he's cute :)

there! this is Kathryn. damn pretty right? i think they're together. at least i hope they are. shes really pretty.

look like our school uniform right? :D

so daim pretty ah she..i jealous :( hah, lol. i not good enough to even be jealous.

he's good looking here, but..:/

i still like this one best! i really like this one very much :) lynxie found this so i just saved it last time, thanks lynxie. this photo of him is really yeng. i've posted this photo of him before in the previous post about him and i saw it just now again so i decided to post it again 'cause its so good looking :) i actually got tired of him for a while but i went back to tumblr just now and i saw photos of him and that 'wahhh..so good looking ah, how can someone's face be so perfect?' feeling just comes back. oh well, another post about Daniel Padilla. handsome right? :D

while on facebook, i found this picture i like :)

nice, kan?

mood:

pottermore.

it has been a while. well, it has always been a while. i think i've been using iphone so much that i use the double space and expect a full-stop to appear. LOL. it has been a long time since i used my computer and blogged. i need some time to get used to it again. so, please excuse me :)

last month, when i was at my cousin's house warming party, i saw something that i've seen before, maybe also experienced before but i hope not, but probably yes. i saw this bunch of kids, they were playing together and suddenly this boy was scolding them like i will get my robot here and beat all of you up! and they were like, come la! scared ah? and the kids went up stairs to play and left the little boy alone. after a while, they came down. the little boy built his own courage and offered his toy to the bunch of kids. the kids didn't want it. they just walked away, totally ignoring him. well, of course he was sad. he sat down and played with his toy alone, my niece was playing with my phone and he wanted to join, i let la. and my niece also wanted to whole phone to himself. he went and find the kids again, he offered to play and they didn't really want to play with him and they were even talking bad about him behind his back. they accepted his request and played hide-and-seek with him. they made him the seeker. while he was counting, they ran out and left him thinking they were still in the house. sad kid.

all he wanted was to have some friends on his side. to have a little fun. to get to play like the other kids. to have fun like the other kids. he just wants to make a friend. watching the whole just makes me so sad. it's so saddening. kids these days. no human should be treated like that. everyone is beautiful.

last saturday, my schoolmate, Lee Sai Men, his dad passed away. he had a heart attack. i did not expect anything like that at all. his dad was still young. he was still fine i guess. and suddenly, he passed away. so, like what people always says, cherish the poeple we have now, we will not know if we will still have them even after this second. life is always unexpected. cherish everyone we have now, even if the ones that are not so important now. we never know if they will be important in the future. before its too late, yknow. family especially. they can be really annoying at times but they are still your family, you can't stay angry at them forever, and for those who take advantage of your family, don't do it. if you have a brain, you will regret, if you don't, then you don't have a brain.

a few days before, i made pottermore. pottermore is a website where potter fans can see the inside of hogwarts and we get to get experience as a hogwarts students. you get to get a wand and get sorted into a house by the sorting hat. it's quite fun i think but it's kind of boring in the beginning. you guys should try as it is finally open for register now. it's now or never. kindof. my friends are all starting to study for SPM and i think it's about time i start too. i'm not making much progress too. hopefully, in time to get an okay result for mid-term. i've made a little effort into trying to focus a little more on my studies, giving a little more time for me to have no choice but study. i deleted the 9gag app from my phone and i'm not watching AOD anymore. skipping them for a few months wouldn't hurt. some good results would be much more worth it. add oil, me. you can do it :)

after posting all this, seems like the period of time that i havent blogged, has been pretty productive :) way to go, me. thanks, God :) i feel Your blessings. oh,oh! and i met yingtyng! she's joseph's girlfriend! quite pretty, quite tall, he's so lucky.

don't under estimate the things that i can do

mood: 

nothing great ever came that easy

i always got to do most of the things i wanted. well, except for this camp. i was really greatful when like a few weeks before the camp, i didn't have to urge to go at all. i thought that i wouldn't feel anything for this camp. as i said, i thought. yesterday was the first day of camp. i was quite sad when i heard that all their phone will be confiscated. i called qian yong last night and i heard happy noises over the phone. i was really happy and sad at the same time. that feeling. i wanted to join them. forget about this whole world and go there to escape the world for a while. but i know that is not possible. it's impossibruu. they were playing ping pong. i can just picture the joy.

how nice would it be if life is not about problems? how nice would it be if life would just be soft, easy, fun and entertaining? many people say that. it's true. it would be nice, sometimes. ooooo, sometimes. [lol, this song is everywhere] try to picture a life with no problems at all. a life with no risk to take. a safe life that would also lead to no excitement. zero creativity probably. and paris hiltons everywhere. this kind of life? i don't want it. it's boring. this world would just be some sakai world with no hope. this dull little world with no colours. it wouldn't be perfect. it'll be boring. boredom will rule Earth. sometimes, problems are the things that makes our lives a little more interesting. giving us stress and finally succeeding. like trying to solve an extreme add maths question and finally got the right answer, that feeling. priceless. some problems give you pain, there might not be that little something that's going to give you 'that feeling' in the end but that's when we will learn to appreciate things we see now. if you know what i mean.

survive today

&

tomorrow will be better

survive tomorrow

&

the day after will be even better

i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly

i'll do what it takes till i touch the sky

and i'll make a wish, take a chance

make a change and breakaway

out of the darkness and into the sun

but i won't forget all the ones that i loved

i'll take a risk, take a chance

make a change and

breakaway

mood:

some things

Trust God at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge

- Psalm 62:8

there are some things in life which can make us smile without putting in any effort. there are also some things that could even make us feel better even when they put in the most effort. for instance, my dog, she makes me smile by just sitting down, stare at me and walk away. does she care? no. but she still puts a smile on my face every single day. who knows why. but for God, so many things i've done, good ones, sinful ones, He's still there for me, every single day. 

He lends me His ears when i need someone to talk to,

He makes a path for me when there's no place for me to go to,

He gives me strength when i feel exhausted,

He gives me wisdom when i'm puzzled,

He gives me light when i couldn't see,

He looks after me when i'm not me,

He gives me warmth when i'm freezing,

He gives me hope when i couldn't find a sign of living,

He lets me trust Him when trust seems to be the hardest thing,

He gives me faith when i find it hard to believe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i just feel so blessed. blessed in every single way. i might not eat enough food sometimes, but the kids suffering in some country might have no food for months. i might sweat like a mad cow and complaining about it, but the people is some countries are suffering from a drought. i complain about being fat, some african have no choice but to be skinny because they have no food. i hate my eyes for being short-sighted, but some people can even see the colours of the world. i complain about my neighbours having karaoke at home being too noisy, some people haven't even heard their own voice. i think my house is small, but some people's houses is the size of my room or even worse, homeless. i complain about the service at my school, some don't even have a school to go to. i complain for not being able to sing well, some people can't even say their own name. i feel bad about my ability in sports, some people haven't even stand on their own feet before.

thinking of these things, how can i feel bad anymore? how can you feel bad after reading this? really, for a moment, you might think you would be happy for the rest of your life, but trust me, somehow, you will still feel bad and complain halfway. that's probably a law for being human. it's hard, but not impossible. like another law, teenagers must be lazy. it's natural. it's a must. but i see many teenager bury themselves in books and helping their moms with house chores. i have no ides how they do that. i can't even get myself up to go walk my dog even after i promised her. that's how life is, but some where in the middle we will all change. walk our own paths. separating. 

in the future, we might have even more friends that we have now, but the friends now is the ones that can make you cry tears of joy with the tiniest bit of things they say, they are the ones that are with you when you're going throughh your hardest moments and the happiest. the period of life when you don't have to care about anything at all and just be young, wild and free. there was one evening when i suddenly thought why do they always say the high school life is the best, and when i think about it, it's true. it's not whats about it thats the best, it's the things in it. the people, the joy, the memories. having all these people in my life, i will never forget, i feel so blessed for having you guys in it. thank you for being there for me, every moment, every where. together watching fireworks at yuejen's guest room's balcony. going out and eat like the hungriest people. being shy when we have to have dinner at her house. go out for tea and supper like never before. talk like girls, laugh like pirates. i don't know how i thought of the pirate thing. laugh like pirates, huh? let's try that some time ;)

mood: 

nuffnang

well, since the title is nuffnang so eventually, the things i'm about to say is about nuffnang. i actually have no idea what nuffnang is and i still don't know what it is. i'm not even sure if its noofnaang or nafneng. but, whatever. i was just done with my daily bread that i have to post once every 3 weeks but i was never on time, not even once. well, as you can see, friday is a really busy day for me, quite a miserable day, but En.Harri's class is quite fun. i am always fully booked on Fridays by tuition and school. well, i'm very popular on Fridays. i havent been  blogging for quite some time already. well, 1) my laziness 2) time management. still not quite good at it yet. okay now, let's see, recently, jaime and i have been using each other's twitter accounts. it was sick and dirty. therefore, derek and amirul decided to call us pornstars. oh well. i can't stop them. well, they are derek and amirul. conclusion: the more you try to stop them, the more they will call you names. report done!

speaking of science, i went out with elvina and joseph on one day. joseph and i tried to explain to elvina the correct way of holding chopsticks using science. the piece of chopstick which is suppose stay is the constant variable while the one that moves to pick things up is the manipulated variable, so therefore, the things being picked up is the responding variable. had to do that, what to do. they're both science people and especially elvina. pure science. she wants to study med. science everywhere! well, its 1:40am now. i have got to go church tomorrow. so, good night, folks!

so don't you worry

your pretty little mind

people throw rocks

at things that shine

and life makes love look hard

the stakes are high

the water's rough

but this love is

ours

mood: 

2012

it's a new year. a brand new one but i still continue things from last year, i'm just getting better. so let me tell you a little about my 2012.

no fellowship

turning 17

SPM

car licence

the last days of high school

i just hope i can live it through. there's nothing i can do about any of it except for my car licence, i can choose to not get it but i chose to get it so yeah. it's a start of a new year and january has just flown by. lyn xie left for new zealand on the first day of chinese new year. oh that girl. and chaw miin miin left for aussie yesterday. oh that girl, too. 

well, it's a new year. we all have plans for ourselves i believe,

so, i wish you all the best :)

i'm unusual

not so typical

way too smart to be waiting around

tai chi practices

snow board champion

i might even fix that flat on your car

i might even be a

rock star

♔

mood: 

hey, soul sister.

roses are red,

violets are blue,

AVADA KEDAVRA,

i love you.

i love you.

mood: 

trust God.

Look back and thank God. 

Look forward and trust God.

Look around and serve God.

Look within and find God.

i found this amazing Christian book which has inspired me so much. it was totally amazing when you read it, it makes you feel God, makes you feel that He's there. it's just amazing. well, last night, i went for a basketball game with my church friends and it was amazing. i got a whole lot damn better. i was late because i went for my family dinner so i only played 2 games. it was an indoor court so it was rather small, but i shot at least 1 or 2 goals per game. not bad right? :D i'm really looking forward to the next game, since i got so much better. i think they're going to play during camp but even if they're not, i bet we're gonna have so much fun. i'm so excited. christmas is getting nearer and nearer and i'm even more excited for that! it's like the best time of the year! i think i'm involved in the play for the children christmas night thingy, playing myself. i didn't know what peter meant but he said i was gonna play me. so yeah. i'm starting work tomorrow so i'd better hit the sack now, so, nitey-nite, don't let the bed bugs bite ;)

mood:

you know what?

i found out a lot of things today. not actually a lot, but yeah, i found out something today. i checked my stats for my blog just now because i noticed that the last time i saw the counter thingy, it was 1603, i accidentally saw it again just now and it was like 1800. i was lilke 2 days and 200 views? nowayman. when did i get that popular? hahahaha :D i checked my stats and yesterday, my blog was viewed 96 times, then it was viewed 106 times, today, it was viewed 66 times. wow. seriously wow. oh!oh! and you know my post about how cool and handsome Daniel Padilla is? that post was viewed 494 times. my blog is like famous. but there's one thing i don't quite understand, since my blog was viewed so many times a day, my followers list never seems to add itself. well, maybe they just read for fun lah. or maybe someone just keep refreshing when they get to my blog. hahahahhahaaha LOL. oh well then.

i went back to my first few posts in this blog to read, it was really really REALLY old. i kindof forgot how i used to blog last time so yeah. i was colourful. hehehehe :P seriously, COLOURFUL. but ohwell, i'm not actually in the mood to be in a good mood right now. i'm really scared. yesterday, when i was asked if i want to go to church [ofcourse i do] i went and told my mom that i might be going to church later but i won't go if my homework is not done, well, she asnwered me, go so many times for what? since you won't be going anymore anyway. that feeling was like being stabbed from behind, not like i have felt the feeling of being stabbed. and this morning, i was suppose to follow my mom to see my aunt. well, i'm going out with my mom so, obviously, i'll think that she's gonna wake me up. so i didn't set an alarm. i woke up, she's not in her room, so i thought she went for a walk cause she usually brings ah miiu along when she goes out. then at 10:00am she came home and said that i didn't even wake up and she've done so many things already and i sekarang baru wake up. and she said, if it was some church activity, i would've set an alarm to wake myself and get ready. that seriously doesn't make sense. you are my mom. i thought you could have woke me up. going to church is different. i carpool. so of course i would get ready and wait for them. it's good enough for them to be okay to fetch me.

she just makes me so sad. it's like she don't care about me at all. well, of course i know she cares about me but it seems to me that she doesn't care if i'm happy. to me, it's like she doesn't want me to be happy at all. well, all i can do now is, pray and wait for God :) there's no point fighting with her anymore. she doesn't listen anyway. now, i shall think of what makes me feel happy. i'm going to ou tomorrow, isn't that happy? although i'm taking a cab to church :( but that's alright. i'm going to church, that's the point. but i can't help thinking that it would be my last few times to be at church, feeling satisfied. i can't actually imagine it or believe it. i'll miss those monkeys. but most of all, i miss spending time with those people who loves God too ;) my mom is starting the heart to heart fight thing again. we don't have to talk to each other, but we're fighting in the inside. eye contact, everything, it's like war at home. but the good thing is, i'm starting work on this coming Monday, so yes, i feel so lucky. get to spend more time with my church friends although we couldn't talk. i'll definitely miss the fun times i had in the house of God. so here's a little prayer,

Dear God, Father Almighty, i know you are listening,

although i'm actually just typing but i'm praying from inside my heart,

and i know you can hear me. Lord, i feel lost right now,

like i'm in a maze i'm not familiar to. i don't know what to do.

i definitely believe in you, God, and in your miracles.

your Histories in the Bible has never failed to amaze me,

how you heal, how you save, how you care but most of all,

how you love. all these years that i've lived, God has blessed me well.

you have put me in a good family, a good place.

i have never suffered or starved.

this little prayer, is not like the other ones i've prayed before,

this is to thank you my Lord,

thank you for giving me a life to live,

thank you for putting me here,

thank you for always being there for me,

thank you for taking my sin away,

thank you for your forgiveness,

thank you for letting me know you,

thank you for blessing me,

thank you for listening to my prayers,

thank you for your

love

you are my Lord and you will always be,

thank your listening to my prayer,

in Jesus' name i pray

amen.

mood: 

i believe in God.